When it’s time to ask, “Are you willing?”

“Willingness melts resistance.” Meir Ezra

My client Alice was needing some important things to change inside her marriage in order to remain in it. 

Some of that, of course, required her to change. She needed to change her thinking, her perspective, and some of her actions. And she was willing to get uncomfortable in order to see if the change she was seeking inside the marriage was possible.

But she also needed some changes to be made on her husband’s part. She wanted to be able to have conversations with him that didn’t center around the kids, and were more than one-word answers or grunts coming from him. 

Not an unreasonable ask for a lifetime partner…

But communication – and specifically intimate communication – wasn’t his strong suit. 

To determine whether the marriage can evolve to a place that will feel good for her, she needs to know:

Is he willing… to make more of an effort to spend time together?
To communicate more with her and stop answering in grunts?
Is he willing… to get an understanding of what intimacy is and how to create it?
To also prioritize her needs and desires in the marriage?
Is he willing… to be uncomfortable for a bit (until it becomes more habitual and therefore, more comfortable)?

If the answers are “no,” well then, Alice does have an answer about her marriage, doesn’t she?

If the answers are “maybe” or “yes,” then she may have something to work with and towards together as a couple.

When you’re in the question of, “Do I stay or go?” you need more information in order to come to a decision. And sometimes that can come in the form of answers to direct questions, such as “Are you willing?”

  • Am I willing to receive love when it is offered?
  • To tell him what I need and express my desires?
  • Am I willing to offer love to him?
  • To give him time to navigate this if he wants to try?
  • Am I willing to have uncomfortable conversations (until they become more habitual and therefore more comfortable)?

If you’re willing to see if the marriage can evolve to a new place before throwing in the towel, then let’s explore if working with me can help you. To see if there’s a fit for us to work together, you can schedule a complimentary Truth & Clarity session with a member of my team.

When it’s time to ask, “Are you willing?”