“Conventional wisdom is no wisdom at all. Conventional wisdom is taking someone else’s word for the way things are.” Richard Marcinko
When our marriage or most intimate relationship seems like it’s falling apart, we fall back on conventional wisdom to help guide us.
Just spend more time together…
Ride it out; it will pass…
You have to begin touching, hugging, kissing each other again…
Go to couples counseling…
Schedule a date night…
Plan a romantic getaway together…
Give him a dose of his own medicine…
Ignore it and maybe the problem will disappear…
But if any of that worked…if it were that simple, we wouldn’t be having the widespread struggles that we’re seeing across marriages today. We would all just do any one of those things and our marriages would feel good again. We certainly wouldn’t have the high rate of divorce we’re seeing today, nor the extent of unhappy marriages.
Conventional wisdom is what got us to this place…and unfortunately, what keeps us stuck in the pain.
What we need are tools on how to be in relationship with one another.
What we need are specific ways to truly take responsibility for our own happiness and stop looking to our partners to do that for us.
What we need are insights about ourselves so that we can make changes and different choices that will get us the result we desire.
Conventional wisdom is essentially group-think and will get you the same results as the majority of people around you. But if you’ve found my teachings, my guess is you don’t really want to settle for what you see in other people’s relationships.
You want more.
You want to feel connected to your husband.
You want to communicate about things that matter.
You want to feel desire and be desired.
If you want a different result, it’s time to do this differently.
Oh and one more myth to de-bunk: When your marriage is in trouble, your instinct will be to dig-in and go to WORK on your marriage. You hear it all the time, “We’re working on our marriage.” Work implies effort and struggle. The problems in your marriage don’t have to be wrestled to the ground and beaten into submission. Actually taking a softer approach can get you much further, much faster.
