“Without respect, love is lost.” Unknown Author
No one calls a Love Coach when their relationships are going well. So, I’ve spoken to thousands of people about their troubled relationships; some find their way back to one another and some do not.
In the midst of that, here’s what I’ve found:
Love is durable.
It can withstand a lot of ups and downs, all the ebbs and flows that happen in a relationship. It can live through a lot of hurt and still be the light in a dark place. When you love someone, even when things aren’t going well, there’s hope. Love can sustain you through the difficult times until you can get to a softer place together. Love is durable because it can weather a storm.
Trust is fragile.
Trust can be there one minute and gone the next. One wrong glance, one unsolicited text, one too many nights out far too late. Trust is usually there, until it’s not. And then there’s a problem. Now there’s something that needs to be overcome, something to be earned back over time. When betrayal happens inside of a relationship, it will break trust into so many pieces that it’s difficult to put them all back together again. It happens, but it’s the exception.
Respect, however, is an entirely different story. Respect is crucial.
If you lose respect for the one you’re with, I have yet to see a path back to solid ground in a relationship. When you no longer respect someone, it’s incredibly difficult to be in love with them. You may have love for them, but that’s different than being in love with them. And if you don’t respect your partner, it’s difficult to do all the things that create a healthy, loving, lasting relationship: like making yourself vulnerable to them, accepting them as exactly as they are, and involving them in your life and your heart and your soul. 