“Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.” Zig Ziglar
I have been working with R. for some time and she and her husband’s relationship have gone through plenty of high and low points. But recently, they’ve been on a roll: becoming closer than ever, feeling understood and even desired.
When she first engaged with me, she had lots of complaints about her husband.
He wouldn’t listen to her.
He was often distracted and focused more on his cell phone than her and the marriage.
They weren’t having sex often enough (yes, sometimes women desire sex more than men).
But one of her biggest complaints was that she wanted him to, “Step up and be a man in the relationship.” She wanted him to be more of a leader, so that she would not have to feel such a heavy weight on her shoulders. She wanted him to make decisions and take the lead more often in their relationship and in their family.
That was many months ago.
And now, in hindsight, she has a vastly different perspective.
Here’s what she told me this week:
“I kept wanting him to step up and be a man, but I was chasticizing and criticizing him as though he was a child.”
She went on to say, “I wasn’t showing up as the woman I wanted to be and as soon as I did is when everything began to change.”
Lots of people have lots of reasons why they think their relationship can’t transform beyond where it is today. What I can tell you is that R. was in your exact same shoes a few months ago…feeling hopeless and ready to give up.
And now she and her husband are happier and more connected than ever before.
That didn’t magically happen. That happened because:
- My incredible client wasn’t afraid to look at her role in the creation of their experience.
- She was willing to learn a new way of being and show-up differently.
- She was willing to trust my coaching and my teachings enough to keep trying.
And for that, I am grateful.