“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you’re not going to stay where you are.” Unknown
I’ve not always been the biggest fan of New Year’s (until I decided to get married on NYE, that is…). But one thing it’s good for is taking stock of where you are in your relationship and becoming intentional about where you want to go in your relationship or marriage.
Maybe things haven’t been going that well…
Maybe you’ve been arguing more and the resentments have been mounting…
Maybe you’ve just begun to co-exist as parents, losing who you were as a couple…
Maybe you’re even considering throwing in the towel.
So, the last day of the year is a perfect time to have a conversation as a couple and ask the important questions:
- In what ways are we stronger as a couple now than we were this time last year?
- In what ways are we not as strong compared to this time last year?
Once you have an understanding of where you are as a couple, then you can talk about where it is you want to go in your relationship:
- In the new year, I’d like us to have more ____________________ (insert desire, such as connection, communication, affection, closeness, time together, etc.)
- In the new year, what’s something that you would like to have more of in our relationship?
Lastly, now that you know one another’s desires, you can each make commitments so that you’re both invested in making your desires happen:
- To help us achieve these desires and to help us become stronger as a couple in the new year, what I am willing to do is ______________________ (insert at least one thing you’re going to do to help the two of you achieve these desires)
- What is at least one thing that you’d like to do differently in the new year so that we can grow into the kind of couple we’d like to be in the new year?
Take advantage of the end of the year to have both of you involved and communicating about the future of you as a couple. If you’re not intentional about where you’re going, the likelihood of you getting there is not promising.
So often we avoid having the important and meaningful conversations with our partners because they don’t feel easy or comfortable. Use this as a tool to help guide the conversation so it’s a little easier and a bit more comfortable for both of you.
Here’s to a very happy, healthy and loving new year!