The 3 versions of unhappy (in your marriage)

“Indeed there has never been any explanation of the ebb and flow in our veins – of happiness and unhappiness.” – Virginia Woolf

No one finds their way to my work when they’re happy – at least not happy in their marriage.

Everyone we speak to that is considering working with me is sadly, some version of unhappy.

Here’s how we think about it in order to determine if they’re a fit for my programs:

• Happy Enough
  • This means things aren’t great in their life and their marriage, but they’re essentially fine and… they’re fine with fine.
    • These people aren’t a good fit in my programs, because they’re perfectly content where they are.
    • They may not be as happy as they could be, but they’re happy enough, and their expectations for their life and marriage are pretty low.
• Unhappy
  • This means they’re in some combination of confusion, turmoil, upset, frustration and sadness. They are in emotional pain and desperately need something to change in their marriage… and they know it.
    • These people are a great fit for my programs, because they know they need help.
    • They know what they don’t want (their current situation), but they may not quite be able to articulate what it is they do want.
    • We help them determine what it is they truly desire.
• Comfortably Unhappy
  • These people know they’re unhappy, but they’re scared to death to take action.
    • These are the people who typically remain stuck for years, waiting for the magic answer for how to get out of the pain while risking absolutely nothing. And that answer never comes.
    • They’re in a great deal of discomfort already, but the unknown feels more uncomfortable than where they are…so they’ve become comfortable with their pain and unhappiness.
    • These people are also a great fit for my programs, because they know they’ll be supported. When someone who is comfortably unhappy can’t quite find the courage to walk through the tough stuff alone, we are glad to be that calm and consistent loving presence walking beside them.

Which one are you?

• Happy enough
• Unhappy (and in great pain)
• Comfortably Unhappy

I would love to hear from you, so shoot me an email and tell me which one you think you are right now.

And if you’re ready to create change in your life and in your marriage (even if that means walking away), we’re ready to support you through that process.