“If something is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.” Ryan Blair
I want to trust my husband again, BUT…I just don’t know if I can.
I want to be able to open my heart to him, BUT…he’s hurt me so many times before.
I want to be happy in my marriage, BUT…I can’t even remember the last time I felt good about it.
We do this all the time…
We express what it is that we want…and then immediately tell ourselves why it’s not possible.
Those mixed messages mean you create a bit of what you DO want in your life, as well as a bit of what you DON’T want in your life.
This leaves us with a complete lack of clarity about what to do next, because sometimes the marriage feels horrible (and in that moment, you are sure your answer is to end it), and other times, you have an experience with your husband that gives you hope (and you think, “maybe this could work, after all”).
When we’re not committed to an outcome, our brains will often provide all the reasons why it won’t work. And when we don’t know how to think about purpose and manage our fears, we’ll remain stuck in indecision. We’ll remain paralyzed in the question of, Should I stay in my marriage and keep trying, or is it time to call it quits?
I’ve seen women stay in that confused, indecisive space for years.
Now, I want you to complete these sentences for yourself:
I want to love him again, but…
I want clarity for myself and my marriage, but…
(Or even… ) I know the right answer is to end this marriage and move my life forward, but…
What comes after “but” tells us what we need to work on if we want to get to clarity.
- What comes after the “but” is our fears…
- What comes after the “but” are the thoughts we need to challenge…
- What comes after the “but” is our justification on why we shouldn’t even bother trying
Are you ready to let go of those buts?
Those justifications?
Those perfectly valid, completely understandable fears that are keeping you stuck?