“When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short-term discomfort for long-term dysfunction.” Peter Bromberg
Maybe you’ve been avoiding having a difficult conversation with your spouse.
Maybe you’re afraid of his reaction and that it will ignite an argument…
Or worse, he’ll just shut down and stop engaging altogether.
It won’t work, so why try?
We do this because we don’t want to feel another let down, another disappointment.
So, if you speak the truth and really share what’s on your heart…
- Your spouse could ignore you…which might make you feel unimportant or that you don’t matter.
- They could get angry…which might make you feel emotionally unsafe and want to give up trying.
- They could tell you you’re being unreasonable…which might make you feel badly about yourself and completely unheard and misunderstood by your partner.
At the end of each of those conversations is a negative emotion.
Unheard and misunderstood.
None of that will feel good.
But at the end of the day, it’s an emotion.
And an emotion will not kill you.
However, remaining in a relationship where you can never speak your truth will slowly kill you…emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.
Say what you need to say.
Speak out loud what is true for you.
Have the conversation you’ve been avoiding.
And then let people have their reactions, without it changing your perspective.
There’s a quote from Peter Bromberg that says, “When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short-term discomfort for long-term dysfunction.”
A few hours of emotional discomfort.
Or a lifetime of hurt and dysfunction.