“Familiar discomfort feels the same as comfort.” Brianna Wiest
Rebecca showed up on one of the Truth & Clarity calls my team member Rachelle hosts.
She shared the deep challenges she’s facing inside her marriage for at least 25 minutes.
And she got choked up on several occasions because the hurts she was carrying were very present and very real for her.
After understanding the challenges she faced, Rachelle felt that one of my programs could genuinely be helpful for her in overcoming these challenges so that she could feel more empowered in her life and knowing in what direction she is heading. So, of course, Rachelle invited her into that program.
After lots of questions and conversation, she didn’t join the program.
- She wanted to…
- She knew she needed it…
- She had been hurting for years not knowing how to make it better…
- She’s been trying to figure this out on her own with no luck…
- And she was ready for real change in her life (or so she said)…
So why wouldn’t she have invested in herself to create real change in her life and her marriage so that her next 5-10 years could look and feel dramatically different than her last 5-10 years?
Because sadly, Rebecca is like most of us. Most human beings are more likely to hang onto the familiar discomfort that they’ve become comfortable existing within than to face something new and unknown.
We say we want out of indecision; that we want an answer we can feel at peace with…
But what most of us mean is that we want clarity without any discomfort.
Believe it or not, we are often more afraid of what is unknown to us than we are of remaining in the perpetual pain, dysfunction, and discomfort we’ve come to know.
As human beings – we prefer what is familiar and therefore comfortable – even when it’s incredibly UNcomfortable.
We are so afraid of feeling uncomfortable.
We’re not often conscious of this attachment to our familiar discomfort but think about some of the biggest (and therefore scariest) life choices you’ve faced personally:
- Did you move to that new city?
- Did you take that new job or say “yes” to a new and challenging opportunity?
- Did you move into your dream home, take your dream vacation, or did you scale back on the dream?
- Did you start that business you’ve been talking about forever?
- Did you invest in the program you knew could help you or did you assume the painful discomfort would magically and eventually turn less painful?
Discomfort is not a reason to stop or scale back on a dream or desire; it’s a reason to pay attention. It means there’s something there for you, but it will require something of you.
And it will never feel comfortable.
No one ever created change in their lives when they were feeling warm and cozy in their comfort zone.
If you’re ready to create change in your life and clarity in your marriage, let’s see if I can help.
- If I can, we will invite you to work with me.
- If I can’t, we will tell you that and point you in the right direction.
But – know this in advance – working with me will not feel inside your comfort zone. And that’s exactly where you should be to create the change you desire for your most intimate relationship.