“Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.” Jose Ortega y Gasset
Do you remember the day when you held your newborn in your arms for the first time? You instinctively knew that this tiny human being was now going to be the center of your world and you were glad to do it. Lots would go on the back-burner for essentially the next two decades: your interests, your dreams, your desires and, even your marriage.
Placing a marriages on auto-pilot doesn’t occur intentionally; it’s just that in a household with children, there’s only a limited amount of time and energy so the focus and the conversation becomes all about the kids and what they need. So, we placed what was probably a solid relationship at the time on auto-pilot assuming it would take care of itself. Sadly, like anything that isn’t nurtured or paid attention to, it withers and dies over time.
That plant in the corner that hasn’t been watered in weeks….it’s dying.
The side business that you never invest in or spend time growing…it’s dying.
And most importantly, the relationship with our spouses…if we don’t nurture it, focus upon it and show it a little love…even that will eventually die off.
We demonstrate through our choices, actions and behaviors what’s important to us.
When we genuinely care about something, we pay attention to it.
We spend time thinking about it, nurturing it, and focusing upon it.
When we genuinely care about something, we invest in it through our time, our love, our energy and even our money. Because we all have limited time, energy and resources, we demonstrate through our actions what’s important to us by where we spend those limited resources.
If you want your marriage to feel good, how are you investing in that relationship right now?
No one reaches out to a love and marriage coach when things are going well in their relationship.
As a matter of fact, it’s typically only when the marriage is on its last breathe that people take what feels like radical action for themselves and their marriages.
Maybe you’ve placed your marriage on auto-pilot a long time ago and now it’s too disconnected to fix…
Or maybe your marriage on auto-pilot has been like that for a while and you’d like to see if you can show it some love and make it feel good again…
Nothing on auto-pilot takes care of itself; not your lawn outside, not your family dog, not your health, not your kids, and not your marriage.
