“Sometimes our biggest mistake gives us our greatest reward.” Namita Budhiraja
I received an application today that read something like…
Our relationship has been one roller coaster ride after another. When I married him, I didn’t do it for love, I did it because he was a solid man. 1st mistake. I stayed for the kids. 2nd mistake. Now I’ve continued to stay. 3rd mistake.
What are the biggest mistakes you’ve made in your relationships?
Have you made them repeatedly in your life?
What are the mistakes you feel like you’re still making?
I have made a lot of mistakes in relationships over the years:
- Overlooking bad behavior
- Not trying hard enough
- Making him responsible for how I feel
- Staying too long
- Choosing safety over passion
- Not being clear about who I was
- Trusting people who weren’t trustworthy
But even as I sit here and think about some of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my relationships, I don’t get sad or feel guilty about any of it. I don’t even look back on the people involved with any kind of blame or hurt. Truly….
Someone I respect once told me: You’re either succeeding or learning.
Every single one of those mistakes helped to make me the woman that I am today. I wouldn’t be a coach focusing in struggling marriages and painful relationships if I’d done it all perfectly; the opposite is actually true. I specialize in marriage and relationship issues because I’ve done it absolutely imperfectly and I’ve learned from those mistakes and experiences.
If given the opportunity, I literally would make all the same mistakes again – and maybe even a few more – so that I could continue to learn and grow into the woman that I want to be in my life and my most important relationships.
If you don’t feel like you’re succeeding in your relationships, what are you learning?
And what will you do with those lessons?