“It’s not somebody’s fault if their father was an abusive alcoholic, but it’s for damn sure their responsibility to figure out how they’re gonna deal with those traumas and try to make a life out of it.” Will Smith
A friend and former mentor of mine said something yesterday that was brilliant. She said:
“You don’t get to decide whether or not the drama shows up.
You get to decide what you do in the midst of that drama.”
It reminded me of the Will Smith video that’s been making the rounds on Facebook for a while referencing fault versus responsibility.
All of us have drama and struggle that shows up in our lives: illness, money problems, professional struggles, judgements, and broken relationships. None of us get through life unscathed from a little (or a lot of) drama – especially in our relationships.
You didn’t deserve to have your lover cast you aside…
You didn’t ask for parents that weren’t equipped to show you what love and marriage should look like…
You would never choose to be in a relationship where you feel disrespected, unseen and unheard…
You don’t get to decide whether or not your husband ever changes…
You can’t control the ways that people you love will hurt you…
But you DO get to choose how you show up in the midst of that drama.
The drama is going to show up.
Who will you be in the midst of that drama?
Who will you become as a result of the struggle?
And when you look at yourself in the mirror, do you feel good about who you are and how you’re handling the drama and the struggle?
If not, it’s never too late to change.
