“One is not born a woman, one becomes one.” Simone De Beauvoir
My client, who I’ll refer to as Tammy, is getting ready to have that incredibly difficult conversation with her husband. She’s been unhappy in her marriage for a long time; it’s not been kept a secret. But she’s preparing to have the conversation where she takes that next big step and shares the decision she’s made to separate with him.
When we’re in the midst of a difficult situation:
- Hard conversations we’ve been avoiding for far too long…
- Sharing our feelings without knowing how it will be received…
- Even moving through something as difficult as a separation or divorce…
The most important question to ask and answer for yourself is:
Am I showing up as the woman I want to be?
When I look back on this difficult situation months or years from now, will I be proud of who I was and how I handled myself?
If you begin with that thought in mind, the way you show up – the way you handle your reactions and emotions – will automatically get you closer to the kind of outcome you really want.
We may not be able to change the circumstances…
We know we can’t change other people…
But we can take responsibility for ourselves and show up in a way that honors the woman we want to be…even in difficult situations.
If you haven’t been showing up in your most important relationships as the woman you want to be, it’s never too late to change that.
At the end of that coaching call with my client, Tammy, she said she has never felt this hopeful about her decision. She’s now focused, equipped and confident that, no matter what his reaction will be, she will handle herself with grace, compassion and love. And that’s the kind of woman she wants to be.
P.S. If you’re a man reading this and you’ve made it this far…obviously, you can approach difficult situations with the desire to be the man, the husband, the partner or the father that you want to be in the midst of any difficult situation.
