“When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That is what this storm is all about.” Haruki Murakami
The five biggest stressors we can face in our lives are:
- Moving (Sometimes, a divorce also requires a simultaneous move)
- Major illness or injury (hello, COVID)
- Death of a loved one
- Job loss
When life throws us big changes and challenges, it changes who we are as a person.
Take a minute to think about it…
Just try and go back to being the exact same person you were before you became a parent or before you lost a parent. (Go ahead….I’ll wait….)
The truth is that life challenges change us….permanently.
When I was going through my own divorce twelve years ago, I genuinely thought that that one challenge would be isolated and contained. I assumed that the rest of my life would continue without interruption.
The truth was that there was not a single area of my life that went untouched as a result of my decision to divorce:
- Every relationship I had changed – not just the one with my spouse. The relationship I had with my parents, my extended family, and even close friends changed, especially with those who didn’t understand my choice.
- During the divorce, I had to maintain as much consistency in my career as possible, but all that stress didn’t make me better at my corporate job. For the good part of a year, I was just trying to put one foot in front of the other and not get fired.
- My relationship with myself also changed. Divorce, then opening my heart to love again humbled me, making me more introspective and willing to show up for myself differently.
It was during this time that I jumped into personal growth and spiritual teachings. It was also when I began writing, mostly to make sense of my own experience, but eventually to help others. Ultimately, I left my corporate job and started a relationship coaching practice, and the rest, as they say, is history.
This was by far the most difficult period of my life, but it is also the time that I experienced the most growth. My divorce changed every part of my life, and I have such gratitude today for it.
Who I was walking into my divorce looks absolutely nothing like the woman I am today. And who you will be on the other side of a divorce (should you choose that path) will change as well (in your own unique ways).
That’s just the way it works.
If you’re navigating a troubling marriage or painful divorce, it’s helpful to have a guide so that you can move through this challenge in the quickest and most peaceful way possible. If you’d like to explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together, you can schedule a complimentary Truth & Clarity session here.