“Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.” Khalil Gibran
He is a good man. He was raised by his grandmother and taught to be honest and responsible. He cares deeply about people, loves his children more than life itself and prioritizes relationships and experiences above things every day of the week. Plus he’s handsome, with soft blue eyes….
But he and his wife are struggling. The stress of daily life, working to pay the bills and raise a family has taken its toll on them as a couple. They’ve drifted apart and now they’re irritated and resentful in each other’s presence. They haven’t a clue how to try to re-connect with one another….or if they even want to. But still they stay. They stay because:
It would be too hard to leave…
It would mess-up the kids…
And leaving a marriage just isn’t what an honest and responsible man does….
So they sleep in the same bed, but their backs are to one another.
They speak to one another, but only about the kids and the home.
They don’t want to be intimate with one another, but they don’t want their partner to be intimate with anyone else either.
So they stay stuck.
Stuck in the pain and heartbreak of their lives.
And at some point, they will look back on their lives, wondering where the time went and when exactly did they lose their joy, their connection and their curiosity for one another.
And that would be a shame…
What a shame it would be to live with regret…
What a shame it would be to live a numb and lonely existence for years or decades…
What a shame it would be to not demonstrate for our children what a loving marriage should look like…
What a shame it would be to let our frustrations and irritations rob us of our joy and laughter.
What a shame it would be to only see either anger or sadness when we look into each other’s eyes.
What a shame it would be to not give our children the gift of happy, emotionally healthy parents.
What a shame it would be to live the rest of our days without feeling the sweetness of a soulful kiss.
It would be a shame to live an entire life…create a family and a home together and completely miss the opportunity to love the soul beside us.
That would be a shame, wouldn’t it?
Maybe now’s the time to change it….for yourself…for your marriage…and for your family – before the disconnection is simply too far to bridge.