“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”  Tony Robbins

What do you believe about your marriage?

My client, Susan, believed that her marriage was over.

She saw no possible way that real change could occur. She didn’t believe her husband of 23 years would ever change. She saw no path forward where she would ever desire her husband again.

And she had lots of experiences over their 23 years together that had led her to this belief.

At a recent women’s conference, I heard a woman named Sarah Jakes Roberts speak. I had never heard of her, but apparently she speaks in front of stadiums of people, so I’m clearly late to the party. #sheskindofabigdeal

She offered an important question to consider: What do you WANT to believe?

In this scenario:

What do you want to believe about your marriage?
What do you want to believe is possible for you? For the marriage?
What do you want to believe about your future?

That is such a better question than, “What do you currently believe?” This is because our past experiences lead us to our current line of thinking, and our thoughts create deeply held beliefs.

Because whatever it is that you believe, it will become true for you, because our beliefs create our reality…

Maybe you’re thinking:

  • I want to believe that we can feel deep love for one another again….(but I don’t actually believe that).
  • I want to believe that I can feel joy again in my marriage (but it’s highly unlikely).
  • I want to believe that – even if we divorce – we’ll both find happiness on the other side and we’ll both be okay… (but what if that’s not true??).

To create a new belief, you have to plant and practice a new thought. And then you have to water that seed over and over again so that it can gain roots and grow. You can never create anything that you don’t ACTUALLY believe is possible.

Now, is it a guarantee that if you believe your marriage can be good again, it will? No. But is it SIGNIFICANTLY more likely to happen if you believe it CAN happen? Absolutely.

Lots of people say they want change in their marriage, but most want it to just magically happen. They don’t want to actually do anything differently to create that change…so nothing ever changes. See how that works?

Do you want to believe something new? Want to create something new inside your marriage?
Or do you want to feel confident that you can navigate ending a marriage and find joy and love again? I’m right here. And I bet I can help you.