Marriage Advice

How Can I Possibly Leave a Good Man?

How Can I Possibly Leave a Good Man?

 “The simplest kind of decision is binary.” E.J.W. Barber I have seen this behavior thousands of times… “He’s a good man…”“He’s a good father…”“Everyone loves him…” When we’re struggling inside of...

read more
What if You No Longer Want to Try?

What if You No Longer Want to Try?

“Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize...

read more
Why Can’t I Love My Husband Again?

Why Can’t I Love My Husband Again?

“The first secret to getting what you want is knowing what you want.” Arthur D. Hlavaty Years ago, I had a coach ask me: “Do you want it? Or do you just want to want it?” That one question floored...

read more
Are You Caught in a Rip Tide?

Are You Caught in a Rip Tide?

“Not everything that is faced can be changed; but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” James Baldwin Living near the ocean we hear a lot about rip currents, also known as rip tides and...

read more
Your Familiar Discomfort

Your Familiar Discomfort

“Familiar discomfort feels the same as comfort.” Brianna Wiest Rebecca showed up on one of the Truth & Clarity calls my team member Rachelle hosts.  She shared the deep challenges she’s...

read more
“I Didn’t Mean to Hurt You”

“I Didn’t Mean to Hurt You”

“If you are not a hero of your own story, then you’re missing the whole point of your humanity.” Steve Maraboli “Your coach is just out there empowering women.” One of my clients shared this comment...

read more
“I am so, so tired.”

“I am so, so tired.”

“One of the quickest ways to become exhausted is by suppressing your feelings.” Bill Vaughan “I am so tired. I am tired of just existing. I am tired of feeling like I’m not a priority. I am tired of...

read more
When resentment turns into entitlement

When resentment turns into entitlement

“Unexpressed emotions never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” - Sigmund Freud “I haven’t felt connected to my husband for almost two years and I feel like I’m...

read more
The Purpose of Guilt

The Purpose of Guilt

“Guilt is there to punish and protect us.” - Mastin Kipp One of the emotions that will keep women struggling in disconnected marriages stuck in indecision about whether to stay or go is guilt. Guilt...

read more
We Place Our Marriages On A Shelf

We Place Our Marriages On A Shelf

Most of us get married because it’s something that we want within the life we’re creating. Which means, it’s somewhat like a milestone goal. And what happens when you “accomplish” the goal? You move...

read more
Book Release: In Love

Book Release: In Love

Most coaches write books to establish credibility in their industry and preach their message to a wider platform. But I’ve written eight books (and counting)... I didn’t write this book for...

read more
Why you’re still struggling…

Why you’re still struggling…

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.”  John Assaraf If you’ve been struggling in your marriage for a long time, there’s a reason why. If you’ve been following my...

read more
NO ONE is meant to be controlled…

NO ONE is meant to be controlled…

“I know it’s a hard lesson to learn, but you cannot love yourself and love someone who hurts you at the same time. Please choose you.” Stephanie Bennett-Henry My client’s husband is controlling. She...

read more

How to talk to him about YOUR needs

“Never apologize for asking for what you need, if you don’t ask - the answer will always be no.” Ken Petti Everyone has needs. And pretending otherwise is a lie. Women often have a difficult...

read more

Men, Women and Communication

“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.” Ric Ocasek When our lives become stressful, do you think we should communicate more or less inside our...

read more
I’m monitoring everything he does…

I’m monitoring everything he does…

“Surveillance rarely breeds trust.” Esther Perel Joannie found out about her husband’s affair with a co-worker six weeks ago, and ever since, it’s been an emotional roller-coaster.  He’s saying all...

read more

What if real love can EVOLVE?

“How does the pressing reality of the ‘I’ve gotta have him every minute of the day’ feeling in the brain transmute to an ‘Oh, hi, you again...How’s everything?’ state of mind? The hormone rushes of...

read more

Who’s Your Person?

“When you share the details of your daily life, you create connection between two people. When you withhold details from your daily life from your spouse, you create disconnection.” - Sharon Pope We...

read more
I Stayed Longer Than I Should Have

I Stayed Longer Than I Should Have

“The best time to do something significant is between yesterday and tomorrow.” Zig Ziglar I once had a client who was hard on herself for staying longer than she should have in her marriage. The...

read more

COVID Has Been Hard on Marriages

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” Hans Selye For over a year, we’ve all been forced into very close proximity with our spouses. And only those in our immediate family or...

read more

A Crowded Marriage

“Again and again he cheated on her. Every time she forgives thinking he would do it not again.” Jaspal Virdi When there’s been infidelity inside of a marriage, a lot of people might assume that most...

read more
When You’re Just Done

When You’re Just Done

“Sometimes you just have to be done. Not mad, not upset. Just done.” Unknown My client’s husband had cheated, but she was trying to work through that… Her husband was drinking a lot, but she wanted...

read more

Setting a Boundary (in the Name of Love)

“Beware of the people who make you think you’re holding a grudge when you’re really holding a boundary.” Mel Robbins  Setting healthy boundaries isn’t something that we learned how to do. Certainly...

read more

Are You in a Lonely Marriage?

 “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” 2009 film, 'World’s Greatest Dad' One of...

read more

What Do You REALLY Want?

 “Desire is possibility seeking expression.” Ralph Waldo Emerson A couple of weeks ago, I talked about getting clear about your desires. This is so important. Because, as women, we were never really...

read more

I Don’t Want to Lose My Family

“People aren’t attached to people, they’re attached to their beliefs.” Byron Katie My client, K., had been married for nearly 20 years and she had two boys, ages 15 and 9. The marriage hadn’t been...

read more

Being Ready to Create Change in Your Life

“Just because it’s not happening right now doesn’t mean it never will.” Daniell Koepke Have you ever wondered why some of the clients I speak about are able to make a decision about their lonely and...

read more

Are You Protecting a Story?

“Nothing happens until the pain of remaining the same outweighs the pain of change.” Arthur Burt My client and her husband are both entrepreneurs. But my client was always frustrated because her...

read more

Will These Changes Last?

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new.” Socrates My client L. and I have been working together for nine weeks and even though she had been...

read more

I Can’t Do That to Him

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” Brené Brown One of the pervasive thoughts that keep women stuck in indecision is that...

read more

Why We Control

“We only control what we don’t trust...Love is the opposite of control. Love demands trust.” Glennon Doyle One of my most favorite things as a coach is going back to review the words that were...

read more

What Would Happen If…

 “Sometimes life is going to hit you in the head with a brick.” Steve Jobs What would happen if you stopped showing up for work? Seriously, pretend that starting tomorrow you’re just not going to...

read more

Maybe Now Is the Perfect Time

“Don’t wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.” Zoey Sayward For sure our holidays look and feel very different this year than in years past. We’re not traveling like we...

read more

How Do I Know Whether to Stay or Go?

“It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.” - Nhat Hanh Women often find their way to my work when the problems inside...

read more

The Quest to Better Understand Men

“God’s purpose for man is to acquire a seeing eye and an understanding heart.” - Rumi If we want to have amazing relationships with men, we need to understand men a little better. (And yes, if men...

read more

The Silent Contract Between You Two

"No one is angrier than someone doing the “right thing” and secretly wishing for something else." - James Hollis Jill and Barry are going to cross their 16th wedding anniversary soon. But she...

read more

Have I Outgrown My Husband?

If one has not in fact grown in the course of a marriage, it has been a dreadful disaster. Mere longevity in a marriage is not necessarily something to celebrate, for what happened to the souls of...

read more

What Are We Arguing About?

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking.” - Naomi Wolf One of my clients came downstairs and picked a fight with her husband about how messy the...

read more

When do you know the marriage is over?

“I went to war for what we had; you never even laced your boots.” N.R. Shepherd When do you know the marriage is over? When do you stop fighting for the marriage? My client listed all the things...

read more

Controlling For 30 Years…Until Now.

“Your children will become who you are; so be who you want them to be.” -David Bly My new client and I met for the first time on our first video coaching session. It is during this first session...

read more

Inspiring Isn’t Always Effective

A few days ago, I posted a quote from Frida Kahlo (a world-renowned self-portrait painter, with multiple disabilities in the early 1900s and a role model for generations of artists) to her husband...

read more
My Marriage is Over

My Marriage is Over

“neither of us is happy but neither of us wants to leave so we keep breaking one another and calling it love.” -Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey One of my clients recently shared with me an analogy of how...

read more

Not All Men Are “Good Men”

“I will not stay, not ever again - in a room or conversation or relationship or institution that requires me to abandon myself.” Glennon Doyle ***You know how some videos come with a warning about...

read more

Why Divorce Should ALWAYS Be an Option

“The vow, ‘till death do us part, is killing our marriages.” Sharon Pope I know...I know….it’s blasphemy. Divorce talk from a relationship coach? (Insert gasp here…) But wait, there’s more...

read more

What’s the Worst That Will Happen?

“When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short-term discomfort for long-term dysfunction.” Peter Bromberg Maybe you’ve been avoiding having a difficult conversation with your spouse. Maybe...

read more
A Mic Drop Marriage Moment

A Mic Drop Marriage Moment

“Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.” Zig Ziglar I have been working with R. for some time and she and her husband’s relationship have gone through plenty of high and low points. But...

read more

Waiting for Change

It was about this time last year that my client, Suzanne, was waiting for her daughter to graduate before confronting her husband about his affair. She didn’t want that drama impacting her...

read more

Why Is Marriage So Hard? – Part Two

Why is marriage so hard? Why do my needs never get met? Will things ever change? I’ve been learning everything I possibly can about the differences between men and women so that we can begin to...

read more

Why is Marriage So Hard? – Part One

Have you ever asked yourself, why is marriage so hard? Implied in that question is that marriage shouldn't be difficult...that love should be easy, effortless. Clearly, that's not true. But marriage...

read more

When a Marriage is Tested

“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.” Paulo Coelho A worldwide pandemic… A child in struggle… An affair...

read more

I’m Stuck. Is That True?

“You have to stop thinking that you’ll be stuck in your current situation forever…Don’t confuse a season, for a lifetime.” Brittney Moses I’ve heard several reports recently referencing how the call...

read more

It’s Going to Get Rough 🌩️

It’s only been a week since many of us were forced to start spending more time at home with our spouses. We went from spending a majority of our time at the office, the gym, running errands, and...

read more

Categories

Search

Connect