“Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.” Lance Armstrong
Temporary discomfort is the price of freedom.*
This is what’s speaking to me lately, and it’s the “mantra” I’ve been repeating—to myself and my clients.
Whenever we’re attempting to do something new, we’re going to have to move through a period of discomfort… because that’s what “newness” brings.
Your old way of doing things (your old habit) is what’s comfortable: What you’ve done before is what you know best.
Sometimes, though, the discomfort of something new and different is what will make us quit.
We’ve created a system of beliefs in our psyche that support us in remaining squarely in our comfort zone. It’s like our brain’s handly little ‘self-protection mechanism.’ And it tells us things like:
- “Well, my situation is different…”
- “This is just how marriage is after 20 years…”
- “I’m probably just asking for too much…”
- “I should just be happy…”
- “I should just accept what’s given to me…”
These baked-in beliefs seem to hold true with whatever change we’re trying to make:
- Having that difficult conversation with your spouse
- Setting a necessary boundary
- Asking for what you need
- Attempting to reconnect after years of disconnection
- Becoming affectionate years after intimacy left your marriage
Human beings tend to avoid what brings discomfort… because it doesn’t feel good.
But every single time you avoid that discomfort, you sacrifice your long-term goals for short-term comfort!
It’s just so much easier to pour another glass of wine and numb out on Netflix than it is to confront the challenges inside your marriage.
It’s so much easier to talk to your girlfriends about the struggles in your relationship than it is to bring those concerns to the person you’re actually in the relationship with!
It’s so much easier to put things off and do them later… “when things slow down.” (As if that time will ever come.)
You’re just lying to yourself. And the Loving Truth is… you know it.
You’re avoiding discomfort now… but it will only get worse!
“I’ll do it next week,” turns into, “Maybe next month,” turns into, “I’ll add it to my New Year’s Resolutions,” turns into, “Well, it’s been this long… why bother now?”
That’s why you’re still here: in this same place of struggle inside your marriage.
I’ve seen women avoid an important conversation with their spouse for years because they’re so afraid of their husband’s reaction. They don’t realize they’re trading an hour of discomfort for a lifetime of loneliness and dysfunction!
So tell me:
What have you been putting off that you know you need to address if you’re ever going to have the life, the marriage, the love that you desire and deserve?
There’s a Chinese proverb that says: “The best time was yesterday. The second-best time is today.”
Let’s get started… today.
Schedule your Truth & Clarity call with a member of my team today, and let’s do this together.
*Note: The original quote comes from Psychologist and Author Susan David who says, “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”