You Have Every Right to Complain…It Just Won’t Serve You
“Complaining not only ruins everybody else’s day, it ruins the complainer’s day too. The more we complain, the more unhappy we get.” Dennis Prager
Yesterday morning I woke up at 5:55 am and struggled to go back to sleep. I had gotten to bed late the night before. I finally fell back asleep only to hear my alarm about thirty minutes later. I was tired…the kind of tired you feel in your bones. But I had client and prospect appointments booked for the whole day starting in one hour, so I got up and got ready. I took the dogs out, made my coffee, got a shower, put on make-up, fixed my hair and got dressed.
And my first appointment with a prospective client never shows up.
Then the second appointment with a prospective client didn’t show-up.
And all I could think about was that I could have slept for another couple hours. I could have been fresh for my day – and for my clients. So, now I’m exhausted and pissed (yes, even coaches get pissed off….) – not a good combination or a good way to begin the day.
These were some of the thoughts going through my mind:
What kind of person schedules time on someone’s calendar and then just doesn’t show up….?
I mean, they asked for this time. This was at THEIR request – not mine.
Mercifully, I hop on a coaching call with a client. I briefly share my morning experience with her and she says, “Oh, they just got scared…” And just like that, I was no longer pissed. I found compassion for the people who didn’t keep their appointment. They’re not bad people…they’re people that are in pain and they’re scared to take that next step.
Changing that thought to something softer changed the course of the entire rest of the day for me – and as a result, for my clients.
You see, people will occasionally do things that don’t feel good to us:
• Your husband is going to say something that hurts your feelings.
• Your wife is going to break a promise.
• People who ask for your time will waste the gift of that time.
You have every right to complain about it…..but it won’t serve you to do so.
Complaining about it and focusing on what doesn’t feel good is just going to keep you stuck in the same painful story. Complaining won’t change anything for the positive; it will only attract more things into your experience to complain about. Complaining thoughts will create emotions like anger, blame and self-rightousness…and that won’t feel good.
Next time you want to complain, change the lens through which you’re seeing the situation.
We might have every right to complain about something…but it won’t serve us.
I know that when we change the perspective through which we see – everything changes for us. But for a couple hours I forgot to apply that principle myself. I am grateful for the client who helped me remember this (you know who you are ;).
I had 2 articles published – one even written for men! Check them out and be sure to like and share them if you’re moved to do so:
If you’re struggling in your marriage, I will help you find the clarity you need to re-commit to making your marriage work or the strength and peace of mind to lovingly release it.