“Whenever it feels uncomfortable to tell the truth, that’s often the most important time to tell it.” Jennifer Lopez
JLo is a Singer, Entertainer, Actress, Dancer, Producer, Writer, Director, Choreographer, and an Entrepreneur (I use her skin care line, JLo Beauty, every single day).
In addition to all that, she’s also a woman who believes in love.
And her belief – as well as her sharing her heart publicly – helps other women believe in love.
I had a client probably ten years ago who had gone through a divorce. This woman is a combination of a bad-ass professionally and a soft-hearted woman personally who had her heart broken from a relationship with a man that she loved deeply following her divorce. Since that time, she’s not been interested in dating or loving again; love felt like something that might not be in the cards for her.
That is until she saw the JLo movie This is Me…Now.
Now my client-turned-friend is starting to believe that love can be possible for her. She’s not actively dating but she’s open to the possibility of love in a way I’ve not seen from her since her breakup. She’s talking about it again, dreaming a bit about it, preparing herself and opening her heart again. It’s beautiful to watch.
JLo has canceled her tour amidst rumors that her marriage with Ben Affleck is in a difficult place. And she’s taken more than anyone’s fair share of online bullying as of late.
I don’t think Jennifer Lopez is the only woman that believes in the fairy tale we were fed about love and relationships. I think she’s just one of the rare few that will admit it and because she has such an enormous platform, her voice gets amplified. Where almost anyone in her shoes at this point would have put up a wall, protected their heart, threw all their time into work or kids, hardened themselves and pretended that love doesn’t matter, JLo reminds us that to her, love matters a great deal.
And I think when we’re really honest with ourselves, love matters a great deal to most of us. The quality of our relationships is directly tied to the quality of our lives and our level of happiness. At the end of our days, love is the only thing that will matter.
As a Relationship Coach, I’m not a fan of the fu#$ing fairy tale and in soooo many ways it does not serve us in our marriages.
But neither does giving up on love; both giving it and receiving it.
Neither does hardening ourselves and guarding our hearts.
And it doesn’t serve us to pretend that things are okay…when they’re clearly not okay.
While we have no idea what’s really happening in JLo and Ben’s marriage, they’re not pretending things are fine. They’re clearly not fine. Maybe they’ll heal their marriage; maybe they won’t.
When we’re struggling in our marriages, if we want to give it any hope of shifting to a softer, better feeling place, we have to tell the truth to ourselves about those challenges and make adjustments. That’s what she did by canceling her tour.
Now the question for you is: What are YOU doing? What adjustments are you making?
If you’ve started to give up…
If you’ve hardened your heart towards your beloved…
If you’ve been pretending things are fine…
Maybe it’s time for telling the truth about that and making some adjustments to see what’s possible….and what’s not.
If you’d like a guide for that journey, I’d love to support you.