“Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught.” Bruce Lee
Around this time every year, I see people quit on themselves in the name of Christmas.
If they had been working on their marriage to see if it can evolve to a new place, they stop that work around the holidays. And all their logic tells them this is a wise decision:
- I’m busy, so I don’t have time to dedicate to it.
- I’m stressed, so I don’t feel like working on my marriage.
- We should take that money we’re using to invest in our marriage and use it to buy presents for the kids.
But, honestly, what do our kids need more than anything right now?
They need to know they’re safe.
One of the ways in which they know they’re safe is by having a stable home life. Not just one that looks stable from the outside, but one that actually IS stable.
And that stability begins with the relationship that exists between the parents.
When kids see their parents overcoming hardships together….
When kids see their parents leaning on one another and acting as a team….
When kids see their parents being loving towards one another…
They feel safe.
They know what to expect.
They learn that it’s okay to show love and affection.
They don’t expect life to be without hardships, but they know they’ll be able to navigate those challenges with a family that has their back.
Sure….get them a titanium iPhone if that’s what you want to do…
But don’t neglect your marriage or quit investing in your marriage and think you’re doing it for the benefit of the kids.
Maybe doing the hard work of creating a happy and stable home is the best gift you could give your kids this time of year (and always…).
I have a way that you can work on your marriage at your own pace, in your own time and still make massive progress. Want to find out the details? Just schedule a quick call with a member of my team.
P.S. And even if the marriage cannot ever evolve to a new place that feels good for you, do you think investing in learning how to communicate better, disagree productively and understand one another’s perspectives will be helpful to you and the kids if you begin navigating divorce in the coming year? Of course it would be. And knowing how to navigate divorce peacefully will have a dramatic impact on your kids.