“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” Maya Angelou
I wasn’t trying to perform some kind of experiment on my marriage, but that’s essentially what happened. And what I learned was how to make a marriage thrive.
There was a period of about two weeks recently where I was stressed about my parents and their health, worried about my business being slow over the holidays, terrified at the thought of my husband quitting his job to start his own business. I hadn’t gone to yoga in over a week, had been eating poorly and had disengaged from my own coach and teachers. I was busy, distracted and although I told myself I was still being in meditation and prayer each day, I wasn’t really doing it in the same purposeful, intentional manner I typically do.
And low and behold, my husband and I weren’t exactly seeing eye-to-eye. We were kind of irritating each other and actually got into a bit of an argument over a miscommunication.
That got me thinking…
That’s not typical of us and how we engage with one another…
And it’s certainly not what I wanted…
So of course, there must be something there for me to learn and adjust…
I started to purposely go looking for things that were going really well in my life (rather than focusing on what wasn’t):
- I just wrote 30 articles in 30 days! And I’m still going….
- My latest book on fixing a struggling and unhappy marriage is in bookstores around the country today! (…more on that at the bottom of this post…) And this Saturday I have a book signing event at the biggest Barnes & Noble in Columbus….
- I’ve gotten to within 10 pounds of my personal goal weight….
I spent more time loving on the clients that needed me during this time of year rather than worrying about the clients or prospects that had other priorities.
I got back to pilates, yoga and my daily meditations. I re-engaged with my own coach and her teachings. I began to eat better and get to bed earlier so I could rest more. I had more tea and less wine.
I stopped worrying about my parents, because worrying does not help them.
And I purposely began to focus upon all the things that I adore about my husband and all the ways that our relationship really works well.
And now our relationship is back to feeling loving and connected, supportive and soulful.
He didn’t have to change a thing or do anything differently. We didn’t have to have some big discussion, attempting to get him to see my perspective, and make a bunch of compromises between us. And I don’t for a minute think he got away with anything. I just had to change my focus and my thoughts which, of course then changed the results within our relationship.
When I feel good, my marriage feels good.
When I make myself and my own well-being a priority, I have more to give.
When I am thriving personally, our marriage also thrives.
That’s how to make a marriage thrive.
Are you giving yourself what you need in order to thrive – for yourself AND your marriage? If you think that sounds like unicorns and rainbows and only something a life coach could do, you’re wrong and I can teach you how to do it.
In love and light –