“The first secret to getting what you want is knowing what you want.” Arthur D. Hlavaty
Years ago, I had a coach ask me: “Do you want it? Or do you just want to want it?”
That one question floored me.
So now I’m going to ask you the same question regarding your marriage:
Do you want to love your husband again?
Or do you just want to want to love him again?
Because you know that it would be so much easier if you did love him again…
You wouldn’t have to hurt anyone…
You wouldn’t have to up-end your life…
You wouldn’t have to impact your kids’ lives…
You wouldn’t have to find somewhere new to live…
You wouldn’t have to face being single again…
So you want to want it, because it’s the “right” thing to do…or the easier thing to do…
But that is very different than actually wanting to love him again.
One is genuine effort and desire…the other is lip service.
One is trying even though it’s uncomfortable…the other is going through the motions.
One is approaching the challenge with an open heart to possibility…the other is cynicism with a belief that, “It’s probably not going to work, so why bother trying?”
When we’re unclear and stuck in indecision, we’ve got to get honest about where we’re at in order to really move forward. I’m ready when you are.