“You’re getting the results of your stories.” Angela Lauria
If you’re healing after a breakup, you inevitably have a story about what happened and why the relationship ended. Take a moment and think about that story. When someone asks you the question, “What happened?” what do you say?
I believe that what you’re saying is the truth of your experience, but I also believe that many times we can be blind to the full story. That story can also be the very thing that keeps us stuck after a breakup.
When we feel stuck, a typical reaction is to begin talking about it. We tell our stories to people we trust and we try to take in the opinions they so generously share.
We go to therapists and over the course of many months, or even years, we uncover the source of the beliefs we’ve been carrying around.
We go out with our girlfriends and compare stories of love and love lost.
We do all of this to try to ease the hurt we feel.
We do all this to attempt to gain some clarity as to what happened.
Unfortunately, all that talk doesn’t help us – it actually keeps us stuck.
Telling our stories over and over again becomes like hitting a brick wall over and over again and doing so only reinforces the lie.
But here’s the problem: There’s no opportunity for breakthrough there. There’s no opportunity to see the deeper truth about how our experiences happen for us or through us, rather than simply to us.
There’s no opportunity to create different experiences for ourselves, because we feel like creating something different is outside of our control.
We keep ourselves in the role of the victim. Ugh.
We can keep our stories.
We can keep our suffering.
We can keep our painful experiences in love and continue to live in heartbreak.
Or we can choose to gently release those stories and seek a deeper truth.
That’s how we have the opportunity to create a breakthrough after a breakup.
Tell the Truth. Show up in Love. Live in Freedom.