What if I Don’t Want to Save My Marriage?

Last updated: Jun 25, 2019

“A major life decision is never a choice but rather a realization that the decision has already been made.” Doug Cooper

 

My husband and I were newly separated. I had moved into a furnished apartment about 20 minutes away and he was in living in our home wondering what the hell had just happened.

He asked me if I would go to marriage counseling with him…

And I knew I should…

That would be the right thing to do, after all…

What kind of person wouldn’t at least try?

But I didn’t want to.

I didn’t really want to go through the motions and pretend.

Because deep down, I didn’t want to save my marriage.

I was done. I had been done for a long time. I just hadn’t yet admitted it to myself or anyone else.

I know some of you receive these emails about how to save your marriage and quietly think to yourself: “But what if I don’t want to save my marriage?”

We can remain stuck there for a long time because if we don’t want to save the marriage, we think the only option is to do what I did and leave…which feels terrifying and destructive. And we think about what a horrible person we must be to no longer want to try to make the marriage work.

It takes a lot of courage to admit to yourself that, at least from your perspective, the relationship is over.

It’s not really a decision we wake-up and make one day and then check that off on the to-do list. I’ve decided today that I don’t want to save my marriage.

It’s like an undercurrent that’s been running beneath your heart for years.

It is a realization of what is.

It’s what is true for you…now…in this moment.

There’s actually some peace in that awareness.

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

If You’re Struggling In Your Marriage…

I will help you find the clarity you need to re-commit to making your marriage work
or the strength and peace of mind to lovingly release it.