“Choosing to stay in a bad relationship will quickly age you because of the stress you’ll create for yourself.” Dr. Christiane Northrup, M.D. Our marriages are supposed to be the most...
The Hidden Toll of an Unhealthy Marriage
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Stuck in Indecision: Stay or Go?
When Temporary Separation from Your Partner is a Good Thing
I’m a love coach and I speak to women every single day who are struggling in their relationships. Recently, my client, Sara called me in tears, and articulated something I identified with: “I feel...
I Stayed in the Wrong Marriage for 11 Years
I had a kind and handsome husband. We lived in a four-bedroom home in a suburban golf community. We had nice cars, took vacations and had a wide circle of friends and loving families. I had a good...
Stop Engaging in “The Crazy.”
“When you see crazy coming, cross the street.” Iyanla Vanzant Some weeks there are consistent themes across my clients, similarities in the struggles or challenges they’re facing, making it...
Is He on Good Behavior or Is This Lasting Change?
“Lasting change happens when people see for themselves that a different way of life is more fulfilling than their present one.” Eknath Easwaran My client, Margie, has been married for 32...
What if Your Relationship is Complete?
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” Hermen Hesse I know… I know..... We are taught that the relationship with our spouse is supposed to last forever...
You Have 3 Options When Your Marriage is Falling Apart
"Holding an unhealthy relationship close is not love." Gennon Doyle Melton You say you love him, but he hurts you, belittles you, controls you... He brings out the worst in you, causing you to react...
Is This the Kind of Marriage You Hope Your Daughter has One Day?
“A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn’t want for her daughter, nor allow any man to treat her in a way she could scold her son for.” Healthyplace.com Julia told me that she...
The Problem with Staying for the Kids
“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love.” Jennifer Weiner Joanne called me in tears; her pain was...
Love Him, but Not in Love with Him
“When the sun has set, no candle can replace it.” George R. R. Martin Rachel has love for her husband, but she’s no longer in love with him. Rachel and her husband have been married for ten years...
What are You Allowing in Your Relationship?
“Settling for crumbs keeps you starving.” Danielle LaPorte Rebecca was in a relationship for five years with Matthew and she had assumed that their next step would be marriage. But there were some...
My Affair is Over. Now What?
“I don’t know why we all hang onto something we know we’d be better off letting go of. It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t even really have. Some of us say we’d rather have something than...
Soft and Strong
“The softness of a person’s nature doesn’t mean weakness, because nothing is softer than water but its force can break the strongest rocks.” Syed Mustafa Faraz Ahmad I know a lot of strong...
There are No Guarantees in Love
“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.” Clint Eastwood Donna has been with her husband for 30 years, married 28 years. He’s all she has ever known. They have two kids together, who are now grown...
Can I Have the Life I Want with My Husband?
“Life may not be the party we hoped for… but while we’re here we may as well dance.” Jeanne C. Stein Mandy has two great kids that she adores. As the kids have become older and more...
Three Reasons Why Asking Your Spouse to Go to Marriage Counseling with You Rarely Works
“Nothing dies harder than a bad idea.” Julia Cameron Stacey has been struggling in her marriage for years, specifically the last two years. She feels lonely and empty. She feels unseen and...
Your Lawyer Isn’t Your Relationship Coach
I know I’m behind the times, but I just recently started watching the TV series, Breaking Bad. Our binging has paid off because we’re already into the third season. I’m watching the other night and...
Does It Take Two People to Fix a Marriage?
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them.” Albert Einstein I received a client application recently that shared with me, “We have so many problems and we’ve been...
The Loveless Marriage
“There is one thing worse than an absolutely loveless marriage: a marriage in which there is love but on one side only.” Oscar Wilde Loveless Marriage. Seems like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? I...
I Have No Reason to Leave
“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as...
I Can’t Leave My Marriage and I Can’t Stop My Affair
“She’s stuck between who she is, who she wants to be, and who she should be.” Unknown Maggie has been married to her husband for 19 years. They have two teenage children, a son who is 17...
When Good Women Cheat
“We are the ones who developed the construct for what is right and what is wrong – mostly in an effort to control others so that we could feel more comfortable, more secure, more right (and...
The Opposite of Love Isn’t Hate. It’s Indifference.
“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not...
Why Can’t He Stop Cheating? And Why Can’t I Walk Away? Here are the Options.
“When people show you who they are, believe them…” Maya Angelou My client, Caren, and I were talking last night about her relationship that’s falling apart right now. There have been lies,...
His Affair. Her Heartbreak. Rinse and Repeat.
“No woman can love a cheater and not pay the price for it.” Rose Wynters It didn’t happen just once. It wasn’t a lapse in judgement or a one-night stand. It wasn’t just one woman. There were...
The Facebook Affair
“Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery. Love likes to shrink the distance that exists between me and you, while desire is energized by it. Love is about having; desire is...
The Paradox of Loneliness
“I used to feel that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. IT’S NOT. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” Robin Williams We say “I do.” We...
If You Leave Your Marriage, You Take Yourself with You
“Nothing changes until you do.” Mike Robbins Are you struggling with a decision on whether or not to leave your marriage? You're not alone. Abbey called me and said she was ready to end the...
A Cry for Help: When Your Marriage is in Trouble, the Distance Grows Wider and You get Rebellious
“If your marriage is in trouble, can you weather the storm?” Grey's Anatomy When we’re in pain and we feel stuck or trapped in that pain, we can get a little rebellious. When we’re frustrated...
On Some Level, We Knew the Truth
“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it to other people.” Virginia Woolf When I’m meeting with a new client for the first time, I always ask them about their...
The Magic Pill for My Marriage
“Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy.” Saadi If you've been struggling for a long time in your marriage, there’s likely a part of you that wants to make this...
Will He Ever Change?
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” Thomas...
The REAL Story about My First Marriage and Why It Ended
“Your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else. When you tell your story, you free yourself and give other people permission to acknowledge their own story.” Iyanla Vanzant ...
The Safe Marriage
“If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never find it. If you don’t know what you deserve, you’ll always settle for less. You will wander aimlessly, uncomfortably numb in your comfort zone,...
Hitting Rock Bottom in Your Relationship.
“The wider the gap between two people, the more difficult it is to cross. The greater the distance, the harder it is to bridge. And the further away we travel, the harder it is to find our way...
When the Arguing Ends and You’re Left with a Grudging Tolerance
“A grudging tolerance of thoughts and feelings is better than an outright struggle, but it leaves you feeling stuck and somewhat helpless. It’s a sense more of resignation than of acceptance,...
Your Sexless Marriage
“In fact, touch is one of the most forgotten languages.” Osho from “Hammer on the Rock” A woman that I’ll refer to as Marilyn reached out to me this week and shared her story with me. She was...
What if Cheating Isn’t Wrong?
There are hundreds of paths up the mountain, all leading to the same place, so it doesn’t matter which path you take. The only person wasting time is the one who runs around the mountain, telling...
Reconciling Divorce and Marriage Vows
“When you are in alignment with the desires of your heart, things have a way of working out.” Iyanla Vanzant All of our marriage vows sounded something like this: “I, ____, take you, ____, to...
It’s Easier to Walk Away from Marriage in Anger and Hurt
“The soul always speaks, and sometimes it speaks the loudest when we block its flow, when we live only half of a life, when we stay on the surface…If we don’t go looking for what lies beneath the...
Emotional Abuse is Still Abuse
“It’s never pretty when you leave an abusive and controlling relationship. The warden always protests when the prison gets shut down.” Dr. Steve Maraboli Physical abuse can be easy to spot....
The Inevitability of Change in Relationships
“How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us...
That’s His Story
“You know truth by the way it feels.” India Arie Last night I was having a session with a client that I’ve been working with and know well. She had been married for 30 years when her husband told...
Why We Stay – Even When It Hurts
“The longest journey you will make in your life is from your head to your heart.” Sioux legend Tammy was a woman that found me through Facebook. She had read the blog post I wrote on narcissism and...
Staying Stuck in the Questions
“Don’t be afraid of the answers, be afraid of not asking the questions.” Jennifer Hudson Katherine has been married for 27 years. Her kids are grown, out of the house and having children of their...
Maybe Am I in the Wrong Marriage is the Wrong Question.
“There’s a real sense of freedom—for both you and your partner—when you no longer make him or her responsible for your happiness.” Sharon Pope Most of us live pretty conditional lives. We’re...
Love is Durable. Trust is Fragile. Respect is Crucial.
“Without respect, love is lost.” Unknown Author No one calls a Love Coach when their relationships are going well. So, I’ve spoken to thousands of people about their troubled relationships;...
Stuck in Indecision
“Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case, it’s no longer...
What if You were Already Alone?
“Some people are going to leave, but that’s not the end of your story. That’s the end of their part in your story.” Unknown Jeanne had 3 young children and a successful career in Sales. She worked...
The Path out of Emotional Abuse is through the Door of Self Love
“But even when I stop crying, even when we fall asleep…this will leave another scar. No one will see it. No one will know. But it will be there. And eventually, all of the scars will have scars, and...
Together & Alone
“The trouble is not really in being alone, it’s being lonely.” Christine Feehan I was almost ten years into my first marriage when I realized that even though I had a husband that loved me, family...
The Awakening
"You will know you are on a journey with a Shaman Lover if you feel a sudden loss of control, a fearsome sense of abandon, and especially an air of foreign-ness…If you thought you would be attracted...
Life Will Never be the Same
“Transformation is never easy or painless, but essential to the growth of our soul.” Elizabeth Gilbert It was the Sunday at the end of a long Thanksgiving weekend. While my husband was out, I packed...
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
“One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing to walk away or try harder.” Ziad K. Abdelnour Some really interesting things happen when I share my story in a public way. Many...
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