“We cannot really love anyone with whom we never laugh.” Agnes Repplier Dr. Harriet Lerner, PhD I am a Relationship Coach. I pay attention to couples and the way they interact. I watch people who...
The Best Couple on TV Today
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Inspiration
We Meet People at the Level of Our Expectation
“With all things in life, we do not get what we ask for, we get what we expect.” Iyanla Vanzant Claire had endured some hurt and betrayals from her husband recently. He had treated her...
Relationship Expert Weighs-In: Three Practices That Will Make Harry & Meghan’s Marriage Last (and What We Can All Learn from Them)
I, like so many, consumed the Harry & Meghan documentary series last night. I didn’t walk into the Netflix series with any pre-disposed ideas or opinions, I just thought it would be interesting...
I’m So Glad that I Did Not Leave
“Let yourself be open and life will be easier.” Buddha Siddhartha Recently, someone asked me, “Can two people who have been disconnected for YEARS ever find their way back to one another?” The...
A Mic Drop Marriage Moment
“Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.” Zig Ziglar I have been working with R. for some time and she and her husband’s relationship have gone through plenty of high and low points. But...
One Reason for Some Affairs: Disconnection from Self
“It’s one thing to lose people you love. It is another to lose yourself. That is a greater loss.” Donna Goddard My client, who I’ll refer to as Sue, had been enduring more than her fair share of...
Surviving Valentine’s Day when Your Marriage is Struggling
I know what you’re thinking…Valentine’s Day when your marriage is struggling rolls will look like some version of: Buying an obligatory card for your spouse, without feeling like anything written on...
I Have to Share This Lesson in Perspective with You
I heard an incredible story on perspective from a woman named Sharla Brown this past weekend (more about her in a moment). Sharla was in India and through a translator, she was speaking with a woman...
Begin Again
Maybe this year wasn’t what you had expected and didn’t exactly go as planned. Begin again. Maybe this past year brought you more heartbreak and pain that you thought was possible. Begin again....
We Have High Expectations for Our Marriages
“Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.” Brandon Sanderson Marriage began as a means to increase wealth and power for a family. Men...
His Wife Is Changing…and He Doesn’t Like It
“Women marry men hoping that the man will change. Men marry women hoping the woman will not change. Inevitably, they both end up disappointed.” Albert Einstein My client, who I’ll refer to as Rachel...
My Musings on Marriage
“Most of us are imprisoned by something. We’re living in darkness until something flips on the switch.” Wynonna Judd I love the idea of having someone to walk beside in this life. I love that...
Why We Avoid Setting Boundaries
“When you know you are of worth, you don’t have to raise your voice, you don’t have to become rude, you don’t have to become vulgar; you just are. And you are like the sky is, as the air is, the...
Sharing Some Gifts with You
“Love is not about property, diamonds and gifts. It is about sharing your very self with the world around you.” Pablo Neruda At this time of year, we’re thinking a lot about presents. Let’s also...
The Danger of Our Expectations. A Very Personal Story.
“Expectations will steal the gifts that are sitting right there in front of you.” Jada Pinkett Smith This deeply personal story could help every relationship you have… I am witnessing my...
Judgement Doesn’t Help
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Theresa Women who have lied find me… Women who have cheated find me… Women who have engaged with married men find me… Women who...
Challenging the Inevitable Truth
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” Oscar Wilde Virtually everyone believes their thoughts as Truth (with a capital T). No one walks around thinking, “I think I’ll believe that lie.”...
How are You Showing Up as a Woman?
“One is not born a woman, one becomes one.” Simone De Beauvoir My client, who I’ll refer to as Tammy, is getting ready to have that incredibly difficult conversation with her husband. She’s been...
This is What to Do with Drama and Struggle
“It’s not somebody’s fault if their father was an abusive alcoholic, but it’s for damn sure their responsibility to figure out how they’re gonna deal with those traumas and try to make a life out of...
When We Withhold Love
“If you withhold love as a form of punishment, who is being punished?” Donald L. Hicks Here’s how most relationships work: When my spouse is doing the things that I want them to do, I show...
Why I Love It When My Coaching Clients Stop Working with Me
“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weights you down.” Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon Last week one of my coaching clients stopped working with me. When she came to me she had...
Are You Listening? Are You Listening to Yourself?
“Never apologize for trusting your intuition – your brain can play tricks, your heart can blind, but your gut is always right.” Rachel Wolchin My client, Sue, had a long talk with her husband. He...
What has been Your Biggest Mistake?
“Sometimes our biggest mistake gives us our greatest reward.” Namita Budhiraja I received an application today that read something like… Our relationship has been one roller coaster ride...
You Have Every Right to Complain…It Just Won’t Serve You
“Complaining not only ruins everybody else’s day, it ruins the complainer’s day too. The more we complain, the more unhappy we get.” Dennis Prager Yesterday morning I woke up at 5:55 am and...
Choosing Peace is a Gift to Yourself
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose to not allow another person or event to control your emotions.” Pema Chödrön Here’s something you may not know about me: I am horrible at arguing. I...
To Love takes Courage
“Love was a leap into the unknown, not a cautious dipping of the toe.” Martina Boone The word courage has a Latin root, cor, which means heart. The heart has long been a metaphor used to depict...
We Do What We Want to Do. Period.
“Adults get to behave however they want.” Brooke Castillo My client, Maggie, has begged her husband, Joe, for years to spend more time with her. The kids are grown and off on their own now and...
My First 100 Clients…and the Ripple Effect.
“….ultimately all you can do is fix yourself. And that’s a lot. Because if you can fix yourself, it has a ripple effect.” Rob Reiner I realized something last night: I’ve now worked with...
If I Stay Right Here, Nothing Bad Will Happen
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.” Dale Carnegie Inspiration can come from many different places. This one came from my own experience in New York this...
I Wish He Would
“What changes your world is not wishing for change; what changes your world is changing.” Jim Rohn I used to be that person that would see people in the potential of who they could be, rather than...
How Is This Possible In Coaching?
“What is now proved, was only once imagined.” William Blake I’m in a coaching session with my new client Eve. She tells me about how she used to be so brave in her life, traveling to...
You’ve Changed…
“You’re always in the process of becoming. You aren’t who you were and you aren’t who you are going to be.” Rob Bell Maybe some of this sounds familiar: "You've changed. Now you're too...(fill-in...
10 Quotes for Understanding Why Some Marriages Struggle
Compare and Despair
“The Reason We Struggle with Insecurity is because We Compare Our behind the Scenes with Everyone Else’s Highlight Reel.” Steven Furtick We live in an interesting time of sharing snippets of...
My Life Needed to be Blown-Up
“When your life shatters, you’re being awakened.” Martha Beck Ten years ago, I was submerged in a life and a career that I thought contained all the keys to happiness, but instead was a life...
How Life Coaches are Like Personal Trainers.
“It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.” John Baptiste Molière There’s a very clear reason why people hire personal trainers. It’s not because...
The Most Important Thing a Man Wants
“(on love) It’s the only thing that allows men and women to stand in a world where gravity always seems to want to pull them down…bring them low…and make them crawl.” Stephen King I was asked to...
My Biggest Beef with the Self-Help Industry
“I dislike the work self-help. Self-awareness, yes, but not self-help.” Deepak Chopra Okay…..I know…..I know……Clearly, as a Love Coach I exist and live within the self-help industry. I’ve...
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” Louise L. Hay My client Jennifer seems to be getting judgements and...
A Little Distraction Goes a Long Way
“Don't wish me happiness I don't expect to be happy all the time... It's gotton beyond that somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor. I will need them all.” Anne Morrow Lindbergh...
I’m so Selfish
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” Oscar Wilde You know when you go to the hair salon and it’s like sitting on a therapist’s...
Have Someone in Your Family that’s Hard to Love? Try This.
“What you focus on expands.” T. Harv Eker We all have that special someone in our families that's hard to love… That one person that you know you’re going need to face this holiday… That...
What I’m Learning from Coaching Men
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor E Frankl From the beginning, I always knew I would work with women – particularly women of a...
Soften Up, Baby
“Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.” Washington Irving During my first marriage, I wasn’t a Master Life Coach. I was in corporate...
The Good in Goodbye
“Thank God I found the good in goodbye.” Beyoncé Knowles My client, Karen got out of a marriage that lasted almost three decades and although she would admit that she wasn’t happy in the...
Life Outside Your Safe Zone
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Jack Canfield When people approach me as a coach and trust me enough to share with me their story, there are some common threads in those...
Seeing through the Eyes of Love
“Every loving thought is true. Everything else is an appeal for healing and help, regardless of the form it takes.” A Course in Miracles I have a client in Europe that I’ve been working with...
Being Intentional about the Energy You Allow
“Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.” Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor One of my clients is building an amazing new coaching practice for adolescents and young adults trying to...
Why I’m Not a Fan of Affirmations
“…before a wound can heal, it must be seen.” Julia Cameron It’s not that I think affirmations are a bad thing; I don’t. The mind can be incredibly powerful. But too often, we try to use...
What’s Whispering to You Right Now?
“Let your heart guide you. It whispers…so listen closely.” The Land before Time I believe that our souls are always speaking to us, whispering to us. And our souls love nothing more than to...
Love is My Religion
“In every religion there is love, yet love has no religion.” Mesut Barazany I’m sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office completing the paperwork they need me to fill-out before seeing the...
Fear and Calm can Co-Exist
“If you don’t hold the fear lovingly, it will follow you.” Martha Beck A few weeks ago, I wrapped up my Master Coach training with Martha Beck. The opportunity to be coached by Martha over several...
Permission to Evolve
"The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be." Oprah Winfrey As a Life Coach, I can tell when people are evolving and changing along their journey:...
The Inseparability of Truth and Love
“Telling someone the truth is a loving act.” Mal Pancoast Cathy is a strong, confident, and independent woman. She doesn’t need a man in her life; but she wants a man in her life. After her divorce...
Someday I Will
“We’re brilliantly designed to heal ourselves and return to wholeness. But sometimes we can use a little help.” Debbie Ford, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers This week my best friend turned 50...
Limitless
“There is nothing that you cannot be or do or have.” Abraham Hicks Eight women joined me in Tuscany this week for an eye-opening, heart-expanding, belief-busting, transformational experience. And...
A Whole New Way to Think About Self-Love
“This self-love you think you’re looking for is not love of self, it’s love that is self. And there’s a difference.” Abraham Hicks This week, I spoke to several women – spread out all over the...
Nothing to Lose and Only Love to Gain
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” Lao Tzu Do you want to find a deep, soulful, lasting love? Do you want to heal from a painful breakup? Do you need more...
No Mud. No Lotus.
“Just like the lotus we too have the ability to rise from the mud, bloom out of the darkness, and radiate into the world.” Author Unknown I don’t go to this place very often. I don’t go there...
If It Feels Good, Do It.
“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion.” Abraham Lincoln I have a yoga friend, Larry Smith, who runs a website called Six-WordMemoirs, where the challenge is to...
How We Love
“The Universe isn’t invested in giving us what we want. It’s invested in teaching us how to love.” Marianne Williamson We may not be able to choose who we fall in love with, but we most...
Soulful Spirituality & Your Relationships
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin I have learned the most in my life from my relationships; some...
Do You Want Love or Do You Just Want to Want It?
“Sometimes it’s the pain of love that transforms you into someone who has the courage to take it on.” Marianne Williamson, The Age of Miracles Do you want love, or do you just want to want...
Here’s the Truth: It’s Time to Ask a Better Question
“If you live in the questions, life will move you into the answers.” Deepak Chopra As a creator, my job is to create. My medium of choice at the moment is writing. So, I follow the flow of my life...
Fear or Love: Part 2
“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” Marianne Williamson I speak to women every day that tell me what they want in their love lives: a lasting, secure and passionate love....
Fear or Love: Those are Our Options and We Get to Choose
“There are 2 basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all life has to offer with passion, excitement and acceptance.” John...
Forgive Yourself
“Once you know better, you do better.” Dr. Maya Angelou Once you begin to explore why some past painful relationships didn’t last, you may be able to see the role you had in contributing to the...
The Lesson We Most Need to Learn
“Consciously or not, we are all on a quest for answers, trying to learn the lessons of life. We grapple with fear and guilt. We search for meaning, love, and power. We try to understand fear, loss...
Why We Attract People Who Need Saving
“When people show you who they are, believe them.” Dr. Maya Angelou We’ve all been there before: This time will be different. He said he would change. I can love him enough that eventually...
The Negative Emotions You Resist will Only Persist
“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.” Gretchen Rubin Last Saturday,...
Prepare for Love to Come Flooding In
“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.” Loretta Young Have you been searching everywhere for love? Have you ever wanted love so much that you convinced yourself that okay...
Cheating and Trusting Your Instincts
“Trust your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.” Oprah Winfrey Did you know that there is a dating web site that is only for people who are married and looking for affairs? One of...
How Your Soul Says “Yes!”
“Stay open to whoever and whatever comes along. When you least expect it, life can take your breath away.” Unknown You know that one friend? That friend you have that’s more than a best...
Our Happiness: Our Job
“You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.” Nina Simone Anne has an ex-husband that is also a part-time terrorist; I’m convinced of it. She also has a business...
Love by July
“Bees can fly 12 miles without getting lost. Albatrosses, 25,000 miles. And flying insects, without eyes, have no trouble whatsoever finding their ‘soul mates.’ Imagine what I can do for you when...
Making Room for Love
“No makes way for yes.” Danielle LaPorte, #TRUTHBOMB Camille is an incredibly successful corporate executive. To meet her, you might immediately see that she’s pretty confident, pretty adventurous...
The Sacred Difference Between Action & Inspired Action
“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.” Benjamin Franklin I was in marketing for nearly 20 years. I worked for some small, niche companies as well as some of the largest, global...
When the Answer is No
“Within the space of love, I own my “yes” and my “no,” both my gentleness and my firmness.” Marianne Williamson Brooke and her fiancée had broken up several months ago after she discovered repeated...
Permission Slips
“Life is a terminal condition. We’re all going to die…but we all, in some ways, wait for permission to live.” Kris Carr We came into this world absolutely perfect. We ate when we were hungry. We...
The Justification for Joy
“In today’s culture where our self-worth is tied to our net worth and we base our worthiness on our level of productivity – spending time doing purposeless activities is rare.” Brené Brown Samantha...
Love with Your Eyes Wide Open
“You are so free you can choose bondage.” Abraham Hicks When I was married the first time, I didn’t see that I had chosen the safe route by marrying the one that wouldn’t lie to me, cheat on me or...
The Most Important Step in Finding Love
“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.” Loretta Young When we don’t have the love we want in our lives, many times our efforts will go toward finding the person that we...
Everything You Want in Love is Waiting for You
“When the receiver is ready, the gift appears.” Chuck Spezzano, If It Hurts, It Isn’t Love You want great, big love in your life this year? It’s waiting for you. You want to experience a miracle in...
Our Closest Relationships are Our Greatest Spiritual Teachers
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin I am a student; a continual learner. For me, the journey of...
Relationship Patterns & Soulful Truth Telling
“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.” Henry Van Dyke If you want to know what your love life will look like in the coming year,...
Your Vision for Finding Love
“You must know what you want, to find what you want.” Lailah Gifty Akita When we’re opening our hearts to love in an effort to find the love of our lives, many times there is a mental, if not a...
Why I Hate the Label Mid-Life Crisis
“When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she had always been. But she had wings.” Dean Jackson...
Acts of Courage for Your Soul
“The signs are all around you, but even more the signs are all within you. Your soul is being pulled forward…You are no longer satisfied with where you are now, and now you are on a quest for where...
In Love with Love
“We may regret that we’re no longer young, but we’re ecstatic that we’re no longer clueless.” Marianne Williamson Today is my birthday. 43. Even if I could, there’s not a single age that I want to...
Get Comfortable with Getting Uncomfortable
“Courage is the power of letting go of the familiar.” Raymond Lindquist My husband and I are taking salsa lessons. We’re only on our 4th lesson, but this week my husband asked the very honest...
How I Lost Myself and Found My Fire
“Passion is the oxygen of the soul.” Bill Butler Fire is life; but my fire was almost completely extinguished; only a few embers remained. I had been married for 11 years to a perfectly good man. He...
There’s Nothing to Prove
“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” Gloria Steinam For as long as I can recall in my entire professional adult life, I always had a plan and something that I was...
Living in the Light
“When you possess light within, you see it externally.” Anaïs Nin I had lunch with a dear friend this week and he was sharing with me the experience he had recently at Yosemite National Park with...
3 Things My Husband has Taught Me about Love
“Soul connections don’t happen every day. When you find one, be grateful. They are gifts. Accept them graciously. The love you’ve been wishing for is here.” Judith Orloff, M.D. I am a teacher;...
It’s the Crazy Crap that Makes Me Laugh and Love Them Even More
“If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.” Yakov Smirnoff Somewhere – out there- there is a small, little, narrow box that people live in. I tease my brother about his box because he doesn’t...
Our Truth Leads Us to Freedom
“The moment you can visualize being free from the things that hold you back, you have indeed begun to set yourself free.” Unknown Author For about the past 5 years, there has been a particular word...
Identifying What You Really Want
“Our key to transforming anything lies in our ability to reframe it.” Marianne Williamson I had surgery on my foot approximately 2 weeks ago. I have been on crutches since that time and still have...
The Subtle Difference between Effort and Force
“Our inner guidance comes to us through our feelings and body wisdom first – not through intellectual understanding.” Christiane Northrup I was in my yoga class last week and I’m doing some crazy...
The Gift of Presence
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” Thich Nhat Hanh There was a long period of my life - from the age of approximately...
One Simple Way to Let Go of Perfectionism
“Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is…the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough...” Julia Cameron I was getting ready to graduate college and I...